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Coffee was never my favorite, but I always had a thing for dark roast.
So I guess it wasn’t a surprise that my first date took place at a Biggby coffee shop.
We met on Grindr so my hopes were high, even though I was aware of the risk.
“When do you want to meet?” He texted me curiously.
“How about tomorrow at 11:25am EST?” I replied in a virgo tone. That was my Thursday lunch break time.
“That’s perfect I’ll meet you there, I look forward to seeing you.” He concluded.
“Huh, way to make a first impression.” I thought to myself. His timely response was surprising. A Grindr certified rarity.
We’d been talking for weeks and he seemed like my type.
Even though we hadn’t met, his tone of text and anti-superficial attitude was alluring. I was sold.
He made it clear that he was only interested in “deep connections” with “meaningful conversation”. Something we shared.
I went to bed that night anticipating a Cinderella-like fantasy date at Biggby…with a twist.
“Just 5 more minutes” I mumbled to myself during my shift as a cashier before the date.
All of a sudden…
*Insert co-worker I didn’t and semi-did fuck with at the time.*
“Boy where are YOU going??” She asked.
“Just getting some dark roast for lunch. What’s it to ya?” I said back.
“You drink coffee now?! Who do you think you are? Biggby HIMSELF??”
“Maybe.” It was officially time for my break.
I clocked out with sweaty palms and a racing heart, got in my car, then drove to the shop.
I pulled up, parked my car, then noticed something I wouldn’t forget.
My date was standing beside his car, waiting for me to arrive with FLOWERS.
And not only that…
He ACTUALLY put thought into presentation.
He looked better than photos he sent me. In fact, he was handsome. Smooth chocolate skin, perfect teeth, clean shave, I was quivering.
I stepped out of my car and greeted him.
By this time, I forgot I was wearing 7 inch dagger heels and he could have been prejudice. But he was welcoming.
We walked inside the coffee shop.
“What would you like to drink?” He asked, looking into my eyes with a smirk on his face.
“I’ll let you surprise me.” I replied nervously. My voice slightly shaken.
He runs up to the counter and comes back with two hot cups of coffee.
“Cheers!” he pressed his coffee onto mine, toasted and took a sip.
He resumed, “Mmm this is good, do you like the dark roast?”
“Why yes…” I confessed vulnerably, then took a sip.
His cologne was reminiscent of Georgio Armani. Intoxicating.
We talked about politics, spirituality, and our career goals(I know we’re mature AF).
Before I could blink, it was time for me to leave. “How about we have dinner at my place next week?” He asked boldly.
“I would like that, what time?” I replied.
“7:15pm EST next Friday.” He said cunningly.
“It’s a date.” I couldn’t stop smiling. He was too smooth.
I thanked him for the coffee and went back to work.
After I left the shop, time sped up faster than I could track. I tried practicing how I would act on the date, casually offering myself a glass of champagne.
But no amount of practice could prepare me for what I was about to experience.
It’s now 7:00pm EST that next Friday. Picture me pacing back and forth outside his apartment. What was I nervous about?
He opens the door, “Hello beautiful come on in.”
I walked in his place. The décor was Afro-centric, sandalwood incense burning
Comfort was the vibe and he pulled it off like a pro. I hung my coat up and sat on the couch.
He came over, sat next to me and asked, “How was your day?”.
Ugh, I hate small talk, “It was good, how was yours?”
“Perfect, I got a lot of stuff done.” He said while scooting closer.
“Same I’ve been going crazy. What do you have planned for tonight after me?” I asked.
His eye-lids lowered and lips began to pucker.
He leaned in closer for a kiss and I withheld resistance.
Is this a dream?
I ate an edible from the d8 supertstore earlier to ease my nerves, so I began to feel one with the couch.
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Making out was new to me, but he knew what to do.
It got more intense. The heat in the room increasing with each second.
He tugged at my belt while kissing to see if I was ready for more.
“Wait” I whispered. “Do you have…”
“Yep” he pulled out a pack of XL magnums.
I wasn’t expecting that, but becoming one with the couch entailed being comfortable no matter what.
For two hours I experienced ultimate dark roast delight with creamer.
“S..sss..sTOp IIIIITTTT!!” I screamed when he unlocked my first stage.
*plat* *plat* *plat*
He obviously had experience.
*bump*, *bump*, *bump* the sound of his feet stomping on the hollow second floor sent shockwaves through the whole building.
“sTOp…..Wakkking…….THE NEIGHBORS!!!” I yelled uncontrollably. The third realm had just been breached with no intermission.
I was looking at the far wall alongside the kitchen and it started to shift.
“the building is collapsing.” I had no more yell in me.
It turned out I had just breached the 6th realm!
Before I knew it, I was tapped out and ready for a vegan McChicken with large fry.
I’ll never forget the feeling afterwards. The clear mind. The serenity with all of eternity. I’d never felt so tranquil.
“Is this real life?” I asked him genuinely.
He laughed loudly.
“Yeah it is. You taste like honeydew.” he said.
“That I know.” I replied.
“If you want to take a shower feel free.”
“Okay, thank you.”
I went to the bathroom and lathered with his black soap.
All of a sudden, a loud BANG comes from the living room. It sounds like someone is trying to bust the door down.
*BANG BANG BANG*
The knocks were getting louder. A man shouts, “I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE!!”.
I heard the door open faintly over the shower noise and then a lot of commotion. The guy must’ve been one of his past lovers.
“What am I? A late night snack?” I thought to myself.
The door slammed and the yelling stopped. Naturally in my feelings, I dried off, got-dressed, and brushed my teeth.
I walked out of the bathroom. He was sitting on the couch zoned.
“What was that all about?” I asked.
“Don’t worry about it.” He responded in his “top-tone”.
I was shook…in the best way.
“Okay, well I’m outtie. I had a really good time!”
“I did too, hit me up when you get home.”
“For sure” I replied as he closed the door behind me.
It was night time and his suburb was chill.
I hopped into my car and started driving home.
When suddenly..
A driver with his headlights on was bumper riding THEE F out of me.
*HONK HONK*
The vehicle screamed. It’s rusted muffler shouting at the top of its lungs.
Closer and closer the car nearly hit me when we approached the red traffic light. No other car was around this time of day.
I stopped.
*A car door slams*
As I looked at my rearview, a tall-lean figure was running towards my driver side window…
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